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Tom's Corner 2004-2005
Commentary by publisher of Short North Gazette

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- M
y Orbiting Grandmother

Short North Gazette publisher Tom Thomson (right) with the late Maynard E. "Jack" Sensenbrenner, Mayor of Columbus. His Honor the Mayor once said, "I guess what I'd like people to say about me later is, "Here was a guy who saw life and helped lift the level of the age he lived in. He didn't just eat, burp and go home."

December 2005

Greetings to conventioneers, holiday shoppers, and visitors to the Short North. Enjoy our unique offerings. And, I would like to take this opportunity to salute the brave and adventuresome entrepreneurs who have made the Short North such a special place. Happy holidays, one and all!

Healthy and tasty salads seem to be the “in” thing to order these days when dining out. They can accompany a meal or they can be a meal in themselves. Some of the especially nice ones we have tasted lately are the house salad at R. J. Snappers and Rigsby’s, the Surly Girl salad at Betty’s, and the house salad at Benevolence. And we dare not forget the Greek salad at – where else? – the Happy Greek!

This is my fourth month without using a credit card! Across the river, the former Braddock’s will soon reopen as Thom’s on Grandview, a seafood house. Thom refers to Thom Coffman, longtime owner of the Clarmont. Rob DeTillio has been named executive chef. Seems like the leaves hung on the trees for a long while this fall. Maybe it had something to do with global warming. Naw! It couldn’t have been that! Bah! Humbug!

Okay, here’s a chance to find out how much you know about dining around the world. Fill in the missing word – and “Enjoy!”

1 English 2 Belgian 3. Spanish 4. Irish 5. Canadian 6. Polish 7. Swiss 8. Hungarian 9. Swedish 10.Welsh

Do good, be happy, stay out of jail, and I’ll see you next month.

Quiz Answers

1. Muffin 2. Waffle 3. Omelet 4. Stew 5. Bacon 6. Sausage 7. Cheese 8. Goulash 9. Meatballs 10. Rarebit

November 2005

Pity the poor person whose every opinion is shaped by their political affiliation. They become nothing more than the organ grinder’s monkey.

Watch out for the radar motorcycle cop frequently ensconced along Buttles Avenue between Park Street and Dennison Avenue.

Laptop computers are sure misnamed. Ever try to use one with it on your lap? Darn near impossible!

This is my third month without using a credit card!

Welcome to the following new enterprises in the Short North: Muse Off High, 14 E. Poplar; Columbus Leather Co., side entrance 642 N. High; Oxygen, 970 N. High; The Little Shop of Shoes, 664 N. High, Two Jewelers, 689 N. High, and the Kathryn Gallery, 642 N. High.

Three cheers for the Bank One-financed pocket park to be constructed on High Street at Lincoln, adjacent to their office. Their $50,000 grant contribution of support is a truly generous gesture.

We are proud of the fact that in addition to our city-wide distribution, the Gazette is delivered to every house from North Fourth Street to the Olentangy River from downtown to the OSU campus. That’s 5,500 houses. Guaranteed.

Wild Blue Yonder

Okay, here’s a chance to find out how much you know about that famous writer Ernest Hemingway.

1. What was his nickname?
2. Where was he born?
3. How did he die?
4. Michigan river he wrote about?
5. The protagonist in those stories?
6. Where did he live a lot of his life?
7. Mountain in one of his novels?
8. Who starred in the above movie?
9. The novel about a man at sea?
10. His World War I era novel?

Do good, be happy, stay out of jail, and I’ll see you next month.

Quiz Answers

1. Papa 2. Evanston, Illinois 3. He shot himself 4. Little Big-Hearted 5. Nick Adams 6. Havana, Cuba 7. Kilimanjaro 8. Gregory Peck 9. The Old Man and the Sea 10. The Sun Also Rises

Do good, be happy, stay out of jail, and I’ll see you next month.

October 2005

Hand Counter

For one reason or another, most of us frequently wonder how many days are in this month or that. There’s a confusing little poem that’s supposed to help, but I’m always forgetting the words to it. There’s a great solution to this nagging little problem and it’s as close as your hand. Make a fist. It doesn't make any difference whether you’re right-handed or left-handed. The knuckles are the months with 31 days. Start with the one nearest to you: That’s January. The next knuckle is March, and so on. For August, come back to the first knuckle. All the in-between spaces are short months, 30 days except for February which is 28 or 29. That’s it. No batteries, no nothing. Always with you.

Dis ‘n Data

Popular waitperson Angie Lawler has returned to R. J. Snapper's after a short absence.

We were saddened by Doug Hall’s passing last month. Doug was the co-owner of Accent on Wild Birds on Grandview Avenue, right across from the post office – formerly next to Stauf’s. I bought many a bag of birdseed at his unique shop and found him remarkably energetic and passionate about his business. His friendly smile, sparkling eyes and ready wit will be sorely missed.

Newly opened – Muse Off High, 14 E. Poplar St., the creation of Doug Shepherd, will specialize in upscale women’s apparel. Doug’s daughter, Heather, will manage the exclusive shop.

Tyler TerMeer and Charles Gray over at Take2Apparel, 30 Warren St., are celebrating their one-year anniversary by offering customers 30% off all experienced inventory. The number there is 614-299-9820.

Our October cover is the work of Matt Wyatt. Matt’s comic strip, Katz ‘n’ Jammas, has been running in our paper for over a year now, and he has done creative work – including political cartoons – for the The Free Press and Columbus Messenger. He plays guitar and performed in the bands Great Plains and Campfire Walkers. He also did artwork on his Great Plains album covers. Thanks, Matt!

Wild Blue Yonder

Okay, here’s a chance to find out how much you know about aviation history.

1. Columbus long-distance flyer 2. The name of Lindbergh’s plane 3. Airship blew up at Lakehurst, N.J. 4. Pilot of a famous U-2 plane 5. She disappeared in the Pacific Ocean 6. The name of Howard Hughes’ baby 7. This 4-motor transport had 3 tail fins 8. A divebomber made in Columbus 9. Airship that crashed in Ohio 10. World War II gull-winged fighter

Do good, be happy, stay out of jail, and I’ll see you next month.

1. Jerry Mock 2. Spirit of St. Louis 3. Hindenburg 4. Gary Powers 5. Amelia Earhart 6. Spruce Goose 7. Constellation 8. Curtis Helldiver 9. Shenandoah 10. Corsair

September 2005

Credit Sweat

Compared to some of my credit card junkie friends, I know I’m strictly in the minor leagues. Nevertheless, a sickening tremor shot through my body the other day when I was looking at my statement and noticed I was paying over thirty dollars a month in interest.

Small potatoes, you might say. Maybe so, but to my Depression-era mentality it was like a thunderbolt of doom.

Four hundred dollars a year down the toilet was what I was thinking. All for the so-called convenience of whipping out my little piece of plastic instead of paying in hard cash.

It didn’t take me long to figure out the solution. Quit using my card until I had cut the balance down to a current level.

Yahooo! Here I come riding my bucking bronco on the great Credit Card Crash Course!

Dis ‘n Data

Two tragic losses: At 58, Kenny Stone, a musician, scholar, and a gentleman. We will miss you Kenny. At 40, Thomas J. Gianikos in an automobile accident. Tommy’s many friends at Mike’s Bar & Grill will miss him. Grandview Café has eight TV sets in their downstairs bar. Eight! You heard right. A big draw during football season. Joe Theibert has met lots of golfing celebrities at Muirfield this past summer. Count among them Fred Couples and Tiger Wood. Welcome back Fritz The Nite Owl – returning to grace our pages with his jazz CD reviews again. You may recall seeing Fritz’s writing here a few years back. Want to listen to some real fine jazz on Sunday nights? Tune in to the Owl’s House of Jazz from 9pm to Midnight on Smooth Jazz WJZA 103.5 and 104.3 FM. Speaking of birds, look for migrating nighthawks this month. They are returning to the pampas of Argentina.

I know, I know. One of the answers in last month's quiz was wrong. No. 8, to be exact, which asked “What is the name of the shortest day?” The correct answer is “the winter solstice.” Just wanted to see if anyone was paying attention.

Dummy Quiz

Okay, here's one to test your knowledge of the underworld. Good luck!

1. Who killed Abraham Lincoln? 2. Who killed President Kennedy? 3. Who axed her mom and dad? 4. What gang killed Sharon Tate? 5. What writer did time in the Ohio Pen? 6. Who blew up the Oklahoma City Fed. Bldg? 7. Who kidnapped the Lindberg baby? 8. Who raided Harper’s Ferry? 9. Who was nicknamed Scar Face 10. Who snacked on his victims?

Do good, be happy, stay out of jail, and I’ll see you next month.

1. John Wilkes Booth. 2. Lee Harvey Oswald 3. Lizzy Borden 4. Manson 5. O. Henry 6. Tim McVeigh 7. Bruno Hauptman 8. John Brown 9. Al Capone 10. Jeffrey Dahmer

“The world is going to hell in a handbasket!” I can remember my orbiting grandmother often saying when I was a little boy.

August 2005

Happy Face

“The world is going to hell in a handbasket!” I can remember my orbiting grandmother often saying when I was a little boy.

Well, maybe it is. And, probably a lot faster these days than back then, what with dishonest public figures, the world in turmoil, corporate greed, cheating, crime and violence. Maybe that accounts for the large number of folks I have been running into who seem to be suffering from some type of depression – bipolar, manic depressive, paranoia, schizophrenia, you name it. And that's not counting thousands more taking their frustrations out on the city streets and freeways.

Here’s my antidote. Try it! In the morning, when I look in the mirror, I get a smile on my face and then I laugh out loud. At the world. At myself. Then I go “Yip!” Nice and loud.I know it can be a lousy world, but I try to put a happy face on it. When I meet people during the day, I trot out a funny story. I keep a supply. Most important, I try to be positive. Sometimes it’s difficult with so many sour pusses around, but I try. And, eat healthy. Maybe I’m crazier than a bedbug, but it works for me!

Dis ‘n Data

I was saddened by the recent death of Bob Crawford. Your many friends will miss you. Happy biking, Bobbie! Another loss, closer to home – Betty Hayes, mother of Gazette writer Christine Hayes and wife of late long-time Citizen Journal columnist Ben Hayes, passed on July 23. She was 91 years old, having lived a long exemplary life. It was great hearing Joe Dunlap playing piano at the Knotty Pine over in Grandview. I remember when he had a group at Benny Klein’s downtown. Nick Culler, a cook at Zeno’s, has joined the Marine Corps. Good luck, Nick! Want to help shoeless Tsunami kids in Indonesia get shod? They desperately need your help. Call Chris Batcheck at Four Winds and find out how easy it will be for you to do some good. The number is 614-299-0311. Call now. Last month, Dragonfly neo-v chef/owner Magdiale Wolmark received the Platinum Carrot award presented by the Aspen Health Institute. Wolmark’s excellent vegan restaurant is located at 247 King Avenue.

Dummy Quiz

Okay, here’s another real easy one: This is just a hodgepodge of unrelated questions that any sixth grader ought to know. Good luck!
1. How many playing cards in a deck? 2. How many counties in Ohio? 3. What’s the capital of the U.S? 4. What is the state bird of Ohio? 5. What century is this? 6. What is script? 7. How many chessmen on one side? 8. What is the name of the shortest day? 9. Who was head of the Third Reich? 10. How many letters in the alphabet?

Do good, be happy, stay out of jail, and I’ll see you next month.

1. Fifty-two 2. Eighty-eight 3. Washington D.C. 4. Cardinal 5. Twenty-first 6. Handwriting 7. Sixteen 8. Summer solstice 9. Hitler 10. Twenty-six

July 2005

Up in Smoke

I have a pretty good idea how frustrated smokers are by not being allowed to smoke in their favorite hangouts. When I started smoking I was only 17 years old. Just sort of experimenting. Not really inhaling. I tried all the brands – Lucky Strikes, Kools, Camels, Pall Malls – you name it, I gave it a puff.

During my navy years, darn near everybody smoked, and they were provided to us for only six cents a pack. Not exactly concerned about the long-term effects of smoking while fighting a war. And, in many of the countries we visited, it seemed the majority of the people were born with a cigarette in their mouth. The poorer and less educated the people were, the more they smoked. After the war I smoked for a dozen or more years, then I finally got smart and quit. My advice to anyone is “Quit while you're ahead!” Quit before you start spitting up blood. I lost many friends – and family members – to these lousy coffin nails. There's no doubt they're narcotic. Quitting was one of the hardest things I've ever done, but I did it – thank goodness!


After many years at E. 15th and High Street, Longs Book Store is moving south to the new Campus Partners project. And it will no longer be Longs. It will acquire the name of the present owners: Barnes & Nobel. Tyfoon, a romantic dining spot combining Thai and French cuisines that opened at the end of April is a smart dining destination. The location on Vine Street was formerly occupied by Strada World Cuisine. Owner Dae Oh says they are serving lunch and dinner and offer valet parking. Their number is 614-224-9219. Check out the monthly wine tasting classes at Europia. For information, call 614-460-3000. ExtraTerrestrial Auto Detailing, comfortably settled into their new digs at 1167 Mt. Pleasant Avenue are unmatched in their expertise. Give your car a break and call them today at 614-294-6909. Josh Hunter is the importer and distributor of a neat product: Borneo Josh's All Natural Mushroom Jerky. Call Josh at 614-403-9493 for more information.


Okay, here's another real easy one: What are the first names of the following U.S. president's wives (nicknames okay)? If you don't get # 7, report back to first grade.

1. Ronald Reagan 2. George W. Bush 3. FDR 4. Harry Truman 5. John Kennedy 6. Bill Clinton 7. George Washington 8. Richard Nixon 9. Jimmy Carter 10. LBJ

Do good, be happy, stay out of jail, and I’ll see you next month.


1. Nancy (His 2nd wife) 2. Laura 3. Eleanor 4. Bess 5. Jackie 6. Hilary 7. Martha 8. Pat 9. Rosalyn 10. Lady Bird

JUNE 2005


I was leading a hike in the Clear Creek Valley a few years ago when a male scarlet tanager flew into a tree not more than 20 yards in front of our group. The bird was bathed in sunlight and its vivid red plumage seemed almost incandescent. With head tilted back, he poured forth his husky, melodious song.

A lady dressed in Banana Republic tans and browns standing beside me whispered in my ear, "Tom, only God could make a bird so beautiful."

The words were hardly out of her mouth when a Cooper's hawk came out of nowhere, like greased lightning. It hit the tanager with an audible thud, a whirlwind of beautiful feathers exploded into the air and the hawk flew away with the dead and broken body of the tanager.

My companion was dumbfounded, at a loss for words and, I swear, her face was as pale as the hankie she pulled from her purse.

I put my arm around her shoulders to comfort her. For a moment I was at a loss for words.

Then, softly, I said, "Welcome to paradise."


The Doo Dah Parade is still looking for volunteers. Call Jim Skeens at 228-0621 for more information.

The old Masters Medical Clinic building has being gutted and is being totally renovated. Future plans call for shops, galleries, and a dining spot.

Gazette writer, Cindy Bent Findlay, and her husband Doug, have a new addition to the family, Abigail Lee Findlay, their first-born, delivered on May 3, 2005. Well-wishers can email the happy couple at or visit

I wonder what happened to the railroad caboose that was part of the scene at the old Outland in Harrison West?

Alternative Auto Care is still chuggin' away over on West Second Avenue. They do have to find a new location, however.

In my opinion, Fred Andrle's Open Line show on WOSU-AM is the best thing on the local airwaves – first-rate. The two-hour Monday-through-Friday program might be a good bet to be aired around the country on National Public Radio.


Okay, here's a real easy one: Midwestern state capitals. If you know someone who doesn't have the answer to No. 8, disown them.
1. Michigan 2. Indiana 3. Pennsylvania 4. Kentucky 5. West Virginia 6. Illinois 7. Tennessee 8. Ohio 9. Wisconsin 10. Iowa

Do good, be happy, stay out of jail, and I’ll see you next month.


1. Lansing 2. Indianapolis 3. Harrisburg 4. Frankfort 5. Charleston 6. Springfield 7. Nashville 8. Columbus 9. Madison 10. Des Moines

MAY 2005


I was once leading a hike about this time of year in Hocking County's Clear Creek Valley. It was a beautiful morning and about 35 or 40 of us were strung out along the picturesque old road that follows the creek as it threads its way through the wooded hills. At one point, I heard Baltimore orioles singing up ahead and I called out, “Orioles up ahead!” We saw the orioles and a lot of other wonderful birds, and we returned to where we had parked our cars. It was then that this five- or six-year-old kid who was with his mother came up to me with a scowl on his face. Kicking the toe of one of his shoes into the dirt road, he looked up at me and said “Mr. Thomson, where are the cookies you promised us?” On another hike to the valley we got a close-up look at a white-breasted nuthatch and, later, when I asked a young girl what was the best bird she had seen that day, she thought a moment, then replied, “I think it was the nutmeg.”


Ten percent of all May sales at Four Winds, 921 N. High St., will go to help tsunami and earthquake relief efforts. Not only that, owners Kris and Mark Batcheck are going to Nias Island to help with the rebuilding efforts! Stop in their wonderful showroom during the May Gallery Hop and meet nationally known Craig Kaufman, noted flower arranger. The Inner Connections Holistic Body-work Center is celebrating its first anniversary at 1196 Neil Avenue. Suzi Wilkoff started the business three years ago at its former location in Harrison West and has been practicing polarity therapy for ten years. The center has six practitioners specializing in different therapies. Congratulations to Allen Card and his wife Lisa, owners of Elements Grille in the Short North, who are now the proud parents of a baby girl, Kathryn Renee Card, born April 5 at 5 pounds 2 ounces. Kathryn joins her brother Ryan. In honor of Mother’s Day, Kiaca Gallery will be presenting a “Mother and Child” art exhibit, auction, and raffle on Sunday, May 8 from 2 - 6 pm. The first 20 mothers who arrive will be presented with a special Mother’s Day gift.


Okay, here's a chance to show off your literary knowledge. All you have to do is name the authors of the following books. Easy, huh?

1. The Stranger 2. The Age of Reason 3. Adventures of Tom Sawyer 4. Knulp 5. The Ballad of the Sad Cafe 6. Moby Dick 7. The Sea Wolf 8. The Tropic of Capricorn 9. The Catcher in the Rye 10. Lolita

Do good,
be happy, stay out of jail,
and I’ll see you next month.

1. Albert Camus 2. Thomas Paine 3. Mark Twain 4. Hermann Hesse 5. Carson McCullers 6. Herman Melville 7. Jack London 8. Henry Miller 9. J. D. Salinger 10. Vladimir Nabokov

APRIL 2005

Bake a Lasagna!
Is it just me or does it seem like the whole world is going to hell in a hand basket? That was one of my orbiting grandmother's favorite expressions, so I guess even back then things were far from perfect. But nowadays? I hate to pick up the morning paper and start off the day by reading about all the murder, muckraking and mayhem going on in the world. Even people I know! So many problems! So many bad feelings! About now is when I take matters into my own hands. Instead of going on a shooting spree, I bake a lasagna. I get all the ingredients on hand. The ricotta, the pasta, and all the rest. In my case, mostly veggies. Then, like a master chef, I combine all these goodies and into the oven it goes. Yummmm! The aroma fills the house and already the world seems like a better place!

Dis 'n Data
Angie Laurer, a long-time waitperson at R. J. Snappers Bar and Gill, is moving on to another career. Angie was long noted for her dramatic up-swept hairdo. But another beautiful lady has been added to the staff : Cecily, who is greeting patrons at the door. She joins the other attractive and personable Snapper gals, namely: Vicki, Jen, Wendy, and Molly, the manager. The old bank building on the NW corner of Fifth and High is undergoing extensive renovation. The work should be finished by the end of June and will result in new storefronts and eight loft-style apartments. For further information. Call 224-2400. Rossi Bar and Kitchen opened a couple of weeks ago in the location of the old Roadhouse Annie’s, 895 N. High. The new enterprise is owned by Tina and Randy Corbin.

Nature Notes
A pair of Cooper's Hawks have built a nest that can be seen just south of the King Avenue Methodist Church parking lot. Scott Schneider told me about the nest. The Chambers Road Krogers has a great buy on sunflower seeds. When Robins and other early migrants that are not seedeaters get waylaid by inclement weather, I put out a few grapes and crumbs of any good whole grain bread. They'll sing a song for you!

Money Mania
When was the last time you checked out the personages gracing your coins and cash? Well, don't look now, or at least until you finish the quiz.

1. The lowly penny 2. Nickel 3. Dime 4. Quarter 5. Fifty cents 6. One dollar bill 7. Five dollar bill 8. Ten dollar bill 9. Twenty dollar bill 10. Fifty dollar bill 11. One hundred dollar bill

Do good,
be happy,
stay out of jail,
I’ll see you next month.

Quiz Answers
1. Lincoln 2. Jefferson 3. FDR 4. Washington 5. JFK 6. George again 7. Honest Abe again 8. Alexander Hamilton 9. Andrew Jackson 10. Berlin 11. Athens

March 2005

Happy Springtime!
“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times” go the opening words of A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens. So it is in the Short North. We have arches – but they are not lit. A one-two punch of a sluggish economy combined with lousy weather, not to speak of a no-smoking ban, have taken their toll on local enterprises. The Short North is especially vulnerable to such changes because of the large number of small business owners. It's true that we have lots of new venues, but others have not been able to make it. Hopefully we are turning the corner and “everything’s going to be all right!” We're at the threshold of spring and there are signs that the economy is improving. The smoking ban? My friend Tim Middleditch had a good idea. Let 'em light up after 9 or 10 p.m. That way everybody will get their way. Thumbs up, and Happy Springtime!

Bob Corkwell's band, McCallister, will play the evening of Friday, March 25 at the Club 202. That's located behind Slammer's. The event? A fund-raiser for WCBE, 90.5 on your dial. Also, here in the Short North, 2Co’s is donating $1 to WCBE from every ticket sold to their latest production 2Co’s Got the Blues. The show continues through March 19 at 790 N. High St. Call 437-2267. Paul Liu's attractive new dining spot, Liu Pon-Xi, featuring Far East Cuisine, opened at 8 E. Goodale St. That's on the Cap at Union Station. The new restaurant seats 200. Congratulations to Michele Mooney, North Market’s director of marketing, who delivered her second child, a 7 pound, 8 ounce baby boy named Burke William Mooney, on February 8!

If the late-winter doldrums have you down, maybe you can find some cheer in the following story that my son Jeff e-mailed me: A Zen Buddhist walked up to a hot dog stand and said to the hot dog man "Make me one with everything." As he spoke, he handed the hot dog man a twenty dollar bill. The hot dog man made the Zen Buddhist a beautiful hot dog and handed it to him. The Zen Buddhist thanked him, then said "Where is my change? I gave you a twenty dollar bill." The hot dog man looked him right in the eyes and said “Change is within you!”

Town Teasers
Your job is to match up towns in Ohio with cities in the following countries. If there's more than one, we will accept your choice – if you accept ours! Ha ha!
1. Spain 2. England 3. Poland 4. Russia 5. France 6. Italy 7. Ireland 8. Portugal 9. Germany 10. Greece

Do good,
be happy,
stay out of jail,
and I’ll see you next month.

Quiz Answers
1. Toledo 2. London 3. Warsaw 4. Moscow 5. Paris 6. Parma 7. Dublin 8. Lisbon 9. Berlin 10. Athens

February 2005

Good Luck Mary!
Members of the Short North Business Association were surprised last month to learn that Mary Martineau, its executive director, had decided not to renew her contract for the coming year.

The directorship of the SNBA has always been a demanding job. In good times and bad, it requires a lot of skill and imagination. Some members of the organization want one thing, others want something else. It’s hard to please everybody, but Mary did a great job.
There were many obstacles that arose during her tenure: a sluggish economy, crime, outrageously high rents from some greedy landlords, just to name a few.

Mary Martineau has moved on to the nonprofit Economic and Community Development Institute, working as a retail coach helping new businesses in the downtown area. We wish her all the luck in the world. If you turn to page 11 you can peek in on a recent going-away party thrown in her honor.

Dis 'n Data
There will be an ritzy organic tea tasting party February 5 from 7 to 10 pm (during the Gallery Hop) at Four Winds International, the elegant imported furniture store located at 921 North High St. Everybody's welcome. Rigsby's, 698 N. High St., underwent extensive remodeling last month. Among the improvements – a spiffy new bar now located in the front of the up-scale restaurant and new attractive hardwood floors. Seating capacity has been increased to 120, and valet parking is now available at the High Street entrance. Curio-a-Go-Go has left its underground space at 17 Buttles Avenue and relocated to a more visible location at 861 N. High, most recently housing Circa. A special Valentine’s Argentine Tango Dance will be held at the Mahan Gallery in the Short North at 1042 N. High St. on Saturday, February 12, beginning at 8:00 p.m. and continuing until midnight. Sounds like great fun. Tickets are $10, students $7. Beginners and partnerless people are welcome. Emack & Bolio’s, the ice cream place that also sells coffee, espresso, tea, chai and other hot stuff, is continuing its open poetry readings this month on Friday, February 11 at 8:00 p.m. in their Short North shop at 945 N High Street. They’re located right next to the Northstar Cafe.

Tree Teasers
You might find yourself going out on a limb to answer these knotty questions. Whatever you do, don’t get stumped! From the clue, name the following common trees.
1. Wrigley’s 2. A model tree 3. Arf! Arf! 4. Meow! 5. So sad! 6. A place to ski 7. Muhammad Ali 8. An eel’s favorite 9. A colorful Indian 10. A sweet bug

Do good, be happy, stay out of jail, and I’ll see you next month.

Quiz Answers
1. Sweet Gum 2. Balsa 3. Dogwood 4. Pussy Willow 5. Weeping Willow 6. Aspen 7. Box Elder 8. Slippery Elm 9. OsageOrange 10. Honey Locust

January 2005

Happy New Year!
We are happy to say that the Short North is starting out the new year with a heartwarming burst of activity. Half a dozen or more first-rate restaurants have recently opened - and more are on the horizon. And, other types of retail stores are making the move. The CAP is filling up with a nice variety of shops and dining spots, not to speak of our own Cup 'o Joe! The Short North Business Association's Mary Martineau continues to provide us with productive events and promotions. For instance, the recent Holiday Hop attracted record-breaking crowds. And, oh yes, one of these days in the near future, we will all be smiling in the glow of the newly illuminated arches! So, here's to the Fabulous Short North! Long may it flourish!

Nature Notes
Now is the time to get serious about feeding the birds. Sunflower seed attracts a lot of different species and there are some good prices on it right now. Among the birds this popular seed will attract include: cardinals, blue jays, mourning doves, juncos, all the sparrows, and some of the woodpeckers.

Dis 'n data
Abbracci, a great new restaurant located in the Hampton Suites opposite the Convention Center opened in mid-November. Handsomely appointed, the establishment specializes in sizzling steaks and delicious pasta. Make your reservation by calling 280-1070. There is valet parking. Sorry to hear Kris Worthington will be closing the doors of Artistically Bent, 718 N. High Street on January 15. The gallery opened at 7 Buttles in 1996 before moving to High Street three years later. Her shop has been a regular among the mainstay of galleries dedicated to providing space for works of local and national artists, including the ethereal oils of William McCarthy. Be sure and drop by before the doors close - a 30% markdown has gone into effect. We’ll miss you, Kris! Thanks for being a part of our Short North circle for so long! Hey folks, think of this little poem next time you're standing in line at a check-out counter. Maybe it will cheer you up.

No matter what the place, Or what the time, The line that moves, Is not where I'm.

Here are some famous guys and gals, mostly fictional that hung out together. Your job is to match up the girls with their boyfriends. First names are ok.

1. Clyde Barrow 2. Tom Sawyer 3. Superman 4. Rhett Butler 5. Lil Abner 6. Popeye 7. Dick Tracy 8. Charlie Brown 9. Napoleon 10. Mark Antony 11. Romeo

Do good, be happy, stay out of jail, and I’ll see you next month.

Girlfriends Answers
1. Bonnie Parker 2. Becky Thatcher 3. Lois Lane 4. Scarlett O'Hara 5. Daisy Mae 6. Olive Oyle 7. Tess Truehart 8. Lucy 9. Josephine 10. Cleopatra 11. Juliet

November 2004

Puzzle Wars
When I look at a crossword puzzle I see an island, an enemy island that I am going to invade. The outer edges of the puzzle are the island's coastline, and the filled-in squares are harbors and waterways. The black squares in the interior are mountain ranges. Now, I circle a numbered square on each coast and it becomes a fortified city. In the interior of the island, I circle a square and designate it the capital. These selected squares can only be taken when they are completely surrounded. The capital can only be captured when all other squares are filled in. Now I carefully scan the questions, looking for a strategic place to invade. This is a crucial choice because all subsequent squares that I take must touch a previously filled in square. Sometimes to get around a tough corner, I'll fill in an ‘s’ where I see the question calls for a plural answer. Sometimes I just bluff my way through. Sort of like being in Iraq. Da-duh! I find a likely soft spot and the puzzle wars begin! Too bad all wars can't be this bloodless. I forgot to say that I buy my favorite crosswords at a bookstore. I tear the puzzle I'm going to work on out of the booklet and attach it to a clipboard. Then I snuggle down under the covers for a pleasant evening of cerebrial calesthetics.

Nature Notes
I witnessed an amazing spectacle on Oct. 16, a raw, blustery day if ever there was one, when I saw a straggling flock of over seventy low-flying Turkey Vultures crossing over High Street in the vicinity of First Avenue. They were coming from the northeast, maybe from the big roost over at Granville, and were headed southwest. More than awesome. Surreal!

Dis 'n Data
Woody Hayes would have given a great big thumbs up to the November-only name change of Michigan Avenue to Buckeye Way! The idea was the brainstorm of Wendy Wollette and Bill Clarkin of APCO Industries Inc. USA Today recently chose Dragonfly neo v cuisine as one of the top ten vegetarian restaurants in the nation. Longtime bartender and waitperson Dawn Vlna is leaving B. Hampton's for the airline industry. That isn't a typo. It's the way her name is spelled, pronounced as if there was a “u” after the “v.” Work should be underway this month on the $400 million Jeffrey Place project on the edge of Italian Village. Over a thousand apartments, condos, single family homes, a hotel, shopping center, and more are scheduled to be built. The bar right off the lobby of downtown's Great Southern Hotel has been renamed The Thurber Library Bar. A copy of George Bellows' painting Cliff Dwellers graces the side of the building at 641 N. High Street. That's where the Burgundy Room is located.

Big Ten Dens
Are you a sport's buff? Well, if you're so smart, name the hometowns of the following teams.
1. Michigan State 2. Indiana 3. Iowa 4. Penn State 5. Michigan 6. Purdue 7. Minnesota 8. Wisconsin 9. Illinois 10. Northwestern 11.Ohio State

Do good, be happy, stay out of jail, and I’ll see you next month.

Quiz Answers
1. East Lansing, MI 2. Bloomington, IN 3. Iowa City, IA 4. University Park, PA 5. Ann Arbor, MI 6. West Lafayette, IN 7. Minneapolis, MN 8. Madison, WI 9. Champaign, IL 10. Evanston, IL 11. Columbus, OH

October 2004

Hockey Horror
The hotly contested championship hockey game was almost over and the score was tied. With just a few seconds left, one of the guys on the other team tried to kick the ball past me. Not to happen as long as I was on that field! With supreme confidence, I threw myself in the path of the ball and kicked it toward the beckoning goal with all my might. It was a score! We won the game! But, Yowww! In the process, I think I broke the big toe on my right foot! Oooowww! Oh, Lord! Does it ever hurt! My glory moment had been shattered by some of the most intense pain I have ever experienced. That's how I woke up from a vivid dream the other morning. Hurting! I couldn't believe what I had done to myself! What a realistic dream! Even though I had never been in a hockey game in my entire life, there I was. The ball had come sailing toward me and I had kicked the holy be Jesus out of it. What had really happened was a case of truth being stranger than fiction. My leg had shot out from between the sheets and my big toe had collided head-on with the dresser that sits beside my bed. Owwww! I don't even want to think about it!

Nature Notes
Now comes one of the best times of the year. Sunny days and cool nights, perfect for all kinds of work and play. Not only that, we're treated to nature's own Via Colori!

Dis 'n Data
While you're out and about enjoying the good weather, stop in Betty's sometime and say hello to personable David Jones. Tom Barney spotted an albino squirrel on Pennsylvania Avenue near West Fifth and Cathy Capuano, of B. Hampton's, says there is at least one on Michigan Avenue and a couple of others over in Goodale Park. The new blacktopping on the parking lots at Tivoli Apartments looks like a million dollars. Probably cost almost that much, too.
Look for a November opening of a gourmet Italian restaurant at Hampton Suites. That's right across High Street from the Convention Center.

Poetry Potluck
The title says it all. Put on your thinking cap and see how many poets you can match up with their poems . . .

1. Song of Myself 2. The Road Not Taken 3. Cool Tombs 4. The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock 5. A Shropshire Lad 6. The Ballad of East and West 7. Howl 8. The Raven 9. The Ballad of Reading Gaol 10.I Died for Beauty

Do good, be happy, stay out of jail, and I'll see you next month.

Quiz Answers
1. Walt Whitman 2. Robert Frost 3. Carl Sandburg 4. T. S. Eliot 5. A. E. Housman 6. Rudyard Kipling 7. Ralph Ginsberg 8. Edgar Allan Poe 9. Oscar Wilde 10. Emily Dickinson

September 2004

Numbers Numb
Life is a number's game. From beginning to end and top to bottom, it is measured by numbers and more numbers. Crunch, crunch, crunch. It seems all we do is crunch numbers. Like crickets, we are obsessed with rubbing our fingers together and crunch, crunch, crunching numbers. In infancy, we made a game of counting our children's fingers and toes. Then, we count their teeth. New ones, loose ones, and ones falling out. Ask the Tooth Fairy, he knows! Then, there's all the fuss about our birthdays and how old we are. How excited we get on some of them! Eighteen! Twenty-one! The gateways to adulthood. Thirty isn't so bad, but by the time forty rolls around, we get a little concerned. And, they keep coming. Relentlessly. But, not to complain. It's a lot better than the alternative! I don't want to forget the perpetual merry-go-round of paying bills. Every month. Month after month, this goes on until your friendly undertaker lets you down. Then, your survivors pay the bills. I haven't even mentioned Social Security numbers, driver's license numbers, levels in school, military service numbers and, probably, lots of others. My head is in a spin. Whew-eee!

Nature Notes
This past August we were blessed with nearly perfect weather. There were lots of sunny days, not too hot, and just enough rain th to keep the grass green and the crops growing. While we were blessed, other parts of the country weren't so lucky. Parts of Florida and some of the western states, for example.
Now, with a little more luck, we can look forward to the kind of fall weather Ohio is famous for: cool nights and crisp, sunny days.

Dis 'n Data
Don't forget the Victorian Village Tour of Homes coming up. The northstar café has opened – and it is so-ooo sharp! Stop by and check it out. It is in the 900 block of North High and specializes in tasty, healthful organic food.
Another great opening occurred a couple of months ago when the old J & G Diner became – voilla! Elements Grille. Nice ambiance, and more good food.

Get well, John McKay!

Hail to the Chief
The title says it all. Put on your thinking cap and see how many of these presidential questions you can answer. .

1.Who was president during the Watergate scandal? 2. Who was president when Pearl Harbor was attacked? 3. Who was president during the Iran-Contra cabal? 4. What president was once a university president? 5. What president was from Plains, Georgia? 6. What president's nickname was Silent Cal? 7. Who was president during the Teapot Dome scandal? 8. Whose face is on a one dollar bill? 9. Whose face is on a five dollar bill? 10.Whose face is on a twentydollar bill?

Do good, be happy, stay out of jail, and I'll see you next month.

Quiz Answers
1. Richard Nixon 2. Franklin Roosevelt 3. Ronald Reagan 4. Woodrow Wilson 5. Jimmy Carter 6. Calvin Coolidge 7. Warren G. Harding 8. George Washington 9. Abraham Lincoln 10. Andrew Jackson 

August 2004

Typo Tyranny
Typographical errors have been the despair of writers and journalists since the invention of the printing press - maybe before. Thus, the pain of discovering a few of these nasty critters over the past several months was not totally unexpected. Like getting as nasty cold, it has happened before. Of course, if I was paranoiac, I would immediately think my editor was trying to stab me in the back for some imagined slight. After all, she is supposed to give the proofs a final once-over. "Banish the thought," I immediately told myself. Margaret and I don't always agree about everything, but she wouldn't stoop that low. Good editors are supposed to be tough, but they're not street-fighters, are they? It might be a good idea to explain here that typos can assume many forms: misspellings, missing words, improper punctuation, garbled facts, etc., etc. I remember a couple of classic typos that once appeared in the Columbus Dispatch. One of them appeared in a caption under a picture that showed a crowd of people coming out the doors of the old Deshler Hotel at Broad and High to witness some event or other. Instead of saying "grinning onlookers," the caption read ""ginning onlookers." The other was in a Lazarus ad featuring a sale of "men's stretch socks." I dare not tell you what how that one came out!

Dis 'n Data
Have a good time at the Greek Festival over the Labor Day weekend -and don't forget the Victorian Village Tour of Homes coming up. This month marks the 20th anniversary of Gallery Hops. So sorry to hear about Functional Furnishings and Strad D'Orta going out of business. Each in its own way was a breat credit to our community. They will be missed. Don't forget Pistachio bakery and coffee house will be opening any day now. If you would like to hear some discussions about birds, or have some bird questions answered, tune in WOSU-AM the third Thursday of each month from 6:30 pm to 8:00 pm. That's 820 on your dial.

Movie Madness
In this month's puzzle, name at least one leading actor or actress in the following films.
1. A Night at the Opera 2. The Secret Life of Walter Mitty 3. King's Rows 4. Love Story 5. Cat on the Hot Tin Roof 6. Dirty Harry 7. Paper Moon 8. The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance 9. Tootsie 10. Dead Poet's Society

Do good, be happy, stay out of jail, and I'll see you next month.

Quiz Answers
1. Marx Brothers 2. Danny Kaye 3. Ronald Reagan 4. Ali MacGraw 5. Elizabeth Taylor 6. Clint Eastwood 7. Tatum & Ryan O'Neal 8. John Wayne, James Stewart 9. Dustin Hoffman 10. Robin Williams

July 2004

Fast Fixes
Wouldn't you think that after all this time we would have the arches lit? And after all the millions of dollars spent? What the heck is going on? The folks responsible for this farce should be ashamed, made to stand in a corner, repeat "I'm sorry!" ten times. Just for the record, here are a couple of solutions to the problem. East Fixes. Did you see Bill Murrays latest flick, "Lost in Translation"? How about all that wondrous electrical glitter in Tokyo? Do you remember those wonderful animated animals that trotted across the face of one of the buildings? Brilliant! So, why don't we get one of those Japanese electrical wizards over here to work on our arches? Betcha they could get them working in short order. Or, here's another idea. Get the electric company to string regular light bulbs across each of the arches and enlist a couple of dozen 12-year-old kids to switch 'em on every evening and switch 'em off every morning. Each kid will have his or her own arch.

Dis 'n Data
The Doo Dah Parade on July 4th promises to be bigger and better than ever. Same parade route. Tie: 1 pm. Rain date: July 3. Friends of George Masters gathered recently at Christine Mersnik's home to wish him good luck and bon voyage. George is pursuing a new career in sunny Southern California. Jason Norton and Kristi Deist are the new owners of Pizza Gourmet, 976 North High Street. The Master Family Practice Medical Center has closed its doors and the big building stands empty. Meanwhile, up the street a few blocks, OSU Family Practice is up and running at 1031 N. High Street. Braddock's Diner on the mezzanine of the North Market has called it a day. No news yet on any replacement. Photographer Ron Johnson is celebrating Playboy magazine's acceptance of yet another of his pics for publication. This one featured lovely Jill Christy. Two new chefs at R. J. Snapper's fantastic seafood restaurant: Derek Michael is the Executive Chef, and Matt Langstaff is Sous Chef. Sherrie Riley Hawk has come home to the Short North with the opening of her attractive Sherrie Gallerie at 937 N. High Street.

Groups & Troupes
In this month's puzzle, give the collective term for the following animals and birds. If this is ok with everybody, Let's see a show of hands.
1. Goldfinches. 2. Larks. 3. Lions 4. Whales 5. Fish 6. Crows 7. Elephants 8. Wolves 9. Quail 10. Locusts.

Do good, be happy, stay out of jail, and I'll see you next month.

Quiz Answers
1. A charm of goldfinches 2. An exultation of larks 3. A pride of lions 4. A pod of whales 5. A school of fish 6. A murder of crows 7. A herd of elephants 8. A pack of wolves 9. A covet of quail 10. A swarm of locusts.

 Do good, be happy, stay out of jail, and I'll see you next month.

 June 2004

Reality Check
It's not unusual to hear oldsters, or even Johnny-some-lately Yuppies, talk about the "good old days."

I know that I do it &endash; even though there's a lot of good things to say about things today. I love all the computer stuff, and cars are swell.

Anyhow, in spite of that, I decided to put the "Good old days to the acid test and here's what I came up with.

Even though there have been some notable advances in medicine, as far as cancer goes, we're still living in the Dark Ages. More than that, most people don't even have a regular doctor to go to. The family doctor is mostly a thing of the past.

Telephone Service. When was the last time you called some big company and were able to get a human voice to talk to? And the telephone directories? Don't make me laugh! You need a microscope to read them. Just when so many in the population are getting older. Shame on the communication industry!

Are television programs better than twenty-thirty-forty years go? You answer that one.

Movies? I guess it's up to individual taste, but it seems to me that many of the current films are too noisy and too violet.

Interstate freeways are ok, but I stay off the inner-city freeways. They're nerve-wracking death traps, if you ask me, and they have a visceral stranglehold on the neighborhoods.

Where did all the good comedians go?

Remember the truly great ones that we were once blessed with?

I like microwave. Another score for Modern Times.

Airline food? Where's the burp cup?

Music? Count me in the "Oldies but Goodies" camp.

Affordable college education? Ha ha!

I wont go back to the times when you could pull in a service station and have attendants check your oil, pressure in your tires, and clean your windshield. Did this really happen, or am I dreaming?

Pistachio Pizazz
The old brick building at 682 N. Pearl Alley, right behind Rigsby's, has been completely renovated and the ground floor will soon open as pistachio . . . a sweet kitchen, sort of a bakery, deli, coffeehouse. Upstairs will be residential.

Seems like the old building had quite a history. Built at the end of the nineteenth century, the three-story building housed a variety of businesses, including the Henry Furnace Company, the Howdo Company, and the Panacea Wire Company. It was also a warehouse for the old W. S. Carlile & Sons Furniture Company on the upper floors.

New owners Barbara and Stelios Giannopoulos are responsible for breathing new life into the old structure. They are to be congratulated. 

Nature Notes
For a few brief weeks the spring migration of birds brightened our lives and gifted us with glimpses of magical color and song. Then, all too soon, it was over, reminding us once again of how fleeting life is.

First Ladies
Okay, here's your chance to prove how much you know about the gentler side of politics. What are the first names of the following president's wives?
1. Franklin Delano Roosevelt 2. John F. Kennedy 3. Dwight David Eisenhour 4. George Washington 5. Abraham Lincoln 6. Jimmy Carter 7. Richard Nixon 8. Ronald Reagan 9. Bill Clinton 10. Harry S. Truman

Dis 'n Data
I recently bought a printer for my computer at Staple's. I took it home, opened it up, discovered it was not compatible with my computer, took it back, and the folks at Staple's cheerfully refunded all of my money. No sweat. No fret

The little arts and crafts shop tucked way in the front of the Greystone Apartments has a wonderful acquisition from Mexico: A life-size wooden sculpture of Don Quixote. You've got to see it to believe it!

Quiz Answers
1. Eleanor 2. Jackie 3. Mame 4. Martha 5. Mary 6. Rosalynn 7. Pat 8. Nancy 9. Hillary 10. Bess

Do good, be happy, stay out of jail, and I'll see you next month.

 May 2004

Yuk Yuk
What's wrong with this world? Or. may I should ask: what's wrong with the people in this world? It's gotten so I hate to read the morning newspaper because it's so full of military marauding, murder, and mayhem. I get sick of all the world's so-called leaders posturing and strutting about, uttering mindless promises that will be broken before the ink is dry on the documents they sign. Maybe everybody would get along better if these high level meetings were devoted to telling jokes. Political jokes. Religious jokes. Ethnic jokes. Even stories where the butt of the joke is on themselves. Let it all hang out! Let the so-called leaders get together, have a few cold ones, and take turns telling jokes. Do it once a year and televise it world-wide. Have a lot of different categories just to check their sensitivity and their prejudices. "Did they hear the one about the Arab who fell off his camel in the desert?" "Did they hear the one about a couple of gay vampires outside a funeral home? "What do they call a newly divorced woman?" How about the one about a Jew, a Catholic, and a Protestant on a disabled airplane? They'll be rolling in the aisles! Killing each other with humor instead of on the battlefield. A lot more civilized, Huh?
Movie Madness
So you say you like movies! Well, let's see how good you really are. Here are some questions about ten all-time great movies.

1. Who had the male lead in "Anatomy of a Murder"? 2. Who was the female star in "Pillow Talk?" 3. Who wrote the book that "Gone With the Wind" was based on? 4. Who played the role of ScarlettO'Hara? 5. Who had the male lead in "Little Big Man"? 6. What father and daughter starred in "Paper Moon"? 7. What was the name of the computer in "2001: A Space Odyssey"? 8. Who had the male lead in "Tootsie"? 9. Who were the co-stars in "Out of Africa"? 10. Who was the big star in "The Color Purple"?

Nature Notes
A hard coming of it, the spring this year, like a difficult birth, but all the more welcome for all that. There were so many chill rainy days that it seemed like the sun would never shine and spring would never make its debut. But it always does and now we are blessed with nature's own art exhibit: colorful flowers and migratory birds on every hand. Jow luck we are!

Dis 'n Data
Over at B. Hampton's one evening recently, I had the pleasure of meeting outstanding folk artist Leni D. Anderson. What a great talent, and a very pleasant person to talk to!

Lots of new businesses opening up in the Short North. To name a few: Zola Dining Lounge is now open in the location vacated by Frezno's at 782 North High Street. Great ambiance. Great Menu. Magdiale Wolmark and Cristin Austin, owners of Dragonfly neo-v, are deeply involved with the Greater Columbus Foodshed Project to establish urban food gardens. Their dream is to link creative vegetarian cuisine and involve youth in the process. haircolorxperts, a dazzling new state-of-the-art hair-color salon has opened at 771-a North High Street.

A reproduction of a painting by famed Columbus native George Bellows will soon adorn an outside wall at 641 North High Street. If you would like to help fund the project, call 209-6368 for more information,

Did you know that each egg in a bird's nest can be fertilized by a different male? Tut tut!

Quiz Answers
1. James Stewart 2. Doris Day 3. Margaret Mitchell 4. Vivian Leigh 5. Dustin Hoffman 6. Ryan and Tatum O'Neal 7. Hal 8. Dustin Hoffman 9. Meryl Streep and Robert Redford 10. Whoopi Goldberg

Do good, be happy, stay out of jail, and I'll see you next month.

 April 2004

A couple years ago, I was undergoing tests prior to having a hernia operation. At one point, I asked the examining doctor how I was doing. "You're as fit as a 57-year-old," he replied. "Wow! That's great," I said. "It must be all the vitamin E I've been taking over the years - and the fact that I quit smoking a long time ago." Recently I was thinking back on that conversation, and all of a sudden I had a great idea. Why not take what he said and run with it? In other words, have a do-it-yourself attitudinal age-change operation? Emphasize my 57-ish biological age instead of my chronological age. No doctors, no drugs, no diets, no nothing. Strictly economy-class! Thus it came about that I lost a whole bunch of years. How many is none of your business. But, I am now 57-year-old, and I feel like I'm 37. It was a heck of a lot easier than the other way to lose years - the only other way I could possibly think of. That would have involved adding three months to every year so we would all become twenty-some percent younger. Maybe that's in the future, but I wanted action right now. So I went ahead and did it! Women have been doing this since the beginning of time. It's also called lying about your age.

Cap Opening
The official opening of The Cap, that imaginative project along High Street that spans I-670, has been delayed until sometime late summer, according to Continental Real Estate officials. At least four merchants have signed leases for space in the commercial strip of shops that line both sides of the street. Tenants will include an upscale ice- cream parlor, a coffee shop/wine bar, an Asian import shop, and an Asian bistro featuring wok cooking. Signed letters of intent also include men and women's clothiers, a hair salon and a candy retailer. The Cap, also known as Union Station Place, was conceived by Jack Lucks, President of Continental Real Estate. City and state funds were used to build The Cap itself and Continental paid $6.5 million to construct the commercial buildings.

"This is one of the most imaginative developments that has ever come out of Columbus," says Cleve Ricksecker, an early proponent of the project, and Director of the Capital Crossroads Special-Improvement District.

There will be some action over there on Friday, April 30, when St. Joseph Montessori School holds its annual For The Birds Fund-raiser on The Cap. An auction of birdhouses decorated by all kinds of folks, live jazz, and catering by Rigsby's Cuisine Volatile will make a great fun-filled night. Tickets to the gala are $50 each and can be ordered by calling 291-8644.

Capital Quiz
Here's your chance to show how familiar you are with the good ol' USA. Name the capitals of the following states. Play this game with friends. Add a lot of other states. It's fun, and it's educational!

1. Kentucky 2. Tennessee 3. New York 4. Massachusetts 5. Nebraska 6. Illinois 7. Maryland 8. West Virginia 9. Oregon 10. Arkansas 

Dis 'n Data
Juli Rogers and Dave Ramirez, formerly of Insty-Prints, have started their own design studio and print shop at 30 East Fourth Avenue, right across from the post office. The name of the shop is r design & printing - the 'r' stands for their last names. Dave, Juli, and Becky Patrick are able and willing to take care of everything you're used to and more - UPS services are coming! Their new digs are bright and spacious, and there's plenty of parking alongside the building. We love this Short North entrepreneurial spirit. Congratulations folks!

Did you know that inside every cough drop and most hard candies is a tiny glob of waxy substance? Just thought you ought to know.

Quiz Answers
1.Frankfort 2. Nashville 3.Albany 4. Boston 5.Lincoln 6.Springfield 7.Annapolis 8.Charleston 9. Salem 10. Little Rock

Do good, be happy, stay out of jail, and I'll see you next month.

March 2004

Creation Cues
It's laughable how serious scientists and religious enthusiasts keep quibbling about what constitutes the source of life on this planet - evolution or divine creation. The debate has its roots in the famous 1925 Scopes Monkey Trial in Dayton, Tennessee which pitted Clarence Darrow against William Jennings Bryan. The debate has never been settled, and probably never will be. To confuse matters still more, there are dozens of religious scenarios to choose from. To lighten up the arena of combat, here are a few of my own theories. The earth, the planets and all the stars of the universe are part of a gigantic pinball machine. Here's another: The universe is a movies set for 2001. We are the bit players. This ones for the romantically inclined: It's all a dream and the stars in the sky are reflections of your loved ones' eyes. I am reminded of a question my old friend Ernie Limes used to throw at ministers and priests whenever he got a chance. He would look them straight in the eye, then ask, "Did Adam and Eve have belly buttons?" Flustered, they wouldn't know what to answer. But I would also remind scientists of the classic query by the monkey in the zoo: Am I my brother's keeper or my keeper's brother?

Uptown Unveiled
Dick Stevens, proprietor of the Elevator Brewery and Draught Haus, 161 North High Street, is championing the idea of a new neighborhood district. Stevens feels that his stretch of High Street and some of the adjacent turf deserves to such a designation. His reasoning is sound: just about every part of the city is part of one district or another. The new district would encompass High Street from Broad Street north to the Short North and extend from Front Street on the west to North Fourth Street on the east. Also in the offing is a business association to promote the area. Stevens has already signed up the Cherry Cole Art Center and the World Gym.

Literary Quiz
Here's a little quiz to test your knowledge of American literature. Name the authors of the following books. Ready? Go!

1. Catch in the Rye 2. Gone With the Wind 3. The Sun Also Rises 4. On the Road 5. The Great Gatsby 6. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn 7. East of Eden 8. The Scarlet Letter 9. Moby-Dick 10. Sister Carrie

Nature Notes?
There's an attractive new bird nesting in our neighborhood and its name is Giant Eagle. In the natural evolution of things, it seemingly has replaced big bears which have become extinct. I am still amazed at the rapid turn-around these Eagle folks pulled off, opening their doors to customers less than a month after they were closed by the previous owners. I like the new store a lot. The produce is fresh and attractively displayed, there is a nice selection of goods in almost every department, and the check-out lines move right along with a speed they're not accustomed to. One small complaint. The buttermilk is not very good but, what the heck, hardly anybody but Gary and I still drink the stuff anymore.

Dis 'n Data
I was saddened to learn of the recent death of Charles Wheeler, a long-time friend and birding companion. Charles was an author and a long-time professor of English at OSU. Still no news on the old Frezno front. A small intimate café has opened at the corner of Michigan Avenue and Third Avenue.

Quiz Answers
1. J. D. Salinger 2. Margaret Mitchell 3. Ernest Hemingway 4. Jack Kerouac 5. F. Scott Fitzgerald 6. Betty Smith 7. John Steinbeck 8. Nathaniel Hawthorne 9. Herman Melville 10. Theodore Dreiser

February 2004

Color Craze
A few years back I drove to a shopping mall and in the parking lot I noticed a curious thing. Of the hundreds of cars parked there, fully a fourth of them were clustered together according to similar colors. Ever since then, I have noticed this phenomenon. Humorously, I thought it might denote a kind of weird symbiotic relationship between automobiles and other of their kind. Maybe a manifestation on the part of cars themselves to revert to a form of tribalism, each group with its own colors, a running of the pack? If not that, what? Well, it might be the other way around. Maybe the car owners are subconsciously attracted to parking near other similarly colored cars?

Next time you are in a parking lot, look around, take note of this oddity of human nature, this strange alliance between humans and their chariots. Maybe you'll see four or five red cars clustered together and a conclave of blue cars, six or seven of them, and a couple of others nearby which seem to desperately want to become part of the pack but can't quite make it. The green ones are over there, like a flock of mallards nosing around in a pond, and down the row is a get-together of tan and brown ones, happily at home amongst their own kind. I scratch my head and wonder what it's all about? It would make a great subject for a thesis in psychology, maybe good for a big grant at OSU.

Dr. Tarr
Although I never had the pleasure of meeting him, I was saddened to hear of the recent death of Dr. Frank Borden Tarr. Dr. Tarr was a 1954 graduate of the OSU College of Optometry, a member of Delta Chi fraternity, and a U. S. Army veteran. He was not only active in the Columbus Computer Society, he also loved flying and playing championship billiards. Of special interest to those of us in the Short North, Dr. Tarr was the husband of Nancy Tarr and the father of Randy Tarr, who together have made Great Things on High one of the area's major attractions.

Pet Peeves
Okay, here's more wacky things that drive me up the wall. Bartenders that bring their personal problems to work. Don't they realize that the rest of us are there to forget our problems and we don't need theirs? Places of business that don't keep their sidewalks clear of snow and ice. That's all this time, but you can count on it that I'll think of more. When I do, I'll let you know. Now it's time to lighten up!

Joke: I say, "I just saw a human toe out on the sidewalk!" You say, "Oh, my gosh! What did you do?" I say: "I called a tow truck."

Shakespeare 101
Here's a quiz to lighten up these gloomy February days with some humor from the Bard. And, if you think this is a smutty quiz, think again. It's all in your mind! Okay, Each of the following designations should remind you of one of Shakespeare's most famous plays.
1. Two inches 2. Twelve inches 3. Six inches 4. Dry 5. Wet

Nature Notes

I figure there are approximately six pairs of Mockingbirds in the Short North area including Harrison West and Victorian Village, These interesting birds not only nest here, they hang around all year. The males get into their singing mode in May and June, sometimes singing into the night, especially when the moon is full, or nearly so.

Dis 'n Data
Now that I-670 is finished and the Cap is almost completed. It's a lot easier getting to Byford's Hair Salon. The old Frzno location is going to feature a comfortable lounge atmosphere. We will let you know when it opens and what the new name is. B. Hampton's has a nifty new menu, a few additions, a few deletions, but all the delicious pizza choices are still there..

Quiz Answers
Okay, boys and girls, here are the answers.
1. Much Ado About Nothing 2. The Taming of the Shrew 3. As You Like It 4. Twelfth Night
5. A Midsummer's Night Dream.

Do good, be happy, stay out of jail, and I'll see you next month. 

January 2004

Fancy Free
If I could grant a New Years' gift to our readers it would be something like this:

Give of yourself as much as possible as you go through life.
Be friendly and don't hold grudges. If you feel slighted, smile and shrug it off.
Put less importance on physical possessions and more on intellectual and aesthetic values.
Become more aware of nature: the clouds, the birds and animals, the trees and flowers, the stars and the planets. There is magic in these things &endash; and peace of mind.
Appreciate art because it is often a reflection of nature.
Read a lot and keep an open mind to avoid mental constipation.
Do something creative. Paint, write, sculpt, dance, play an instrument. Even cooking can be imaginative and artistic.
I am trying to do these things, but I have a way to go yet. In my case, I whistle a lot and keep a feather tucked in my hat.
And, while I'm in a fanciful mood, here are my New Year's wishes for the Short North:
I hope the arches get lit up and the lights will twinkle in all their glory forever more.
I hope all the new stores on the Cap get rented and most of the newly renovated and old ones, too.
I hope the city works out agreements on a couple of their parking lots whereby they allow private contractors to build parking garages.
I would like to see more co-op stores with a number of people participating and sharing the rent.
A Las Vegas-style show club or a high-class dance bar near the Convention Center would be a great attraction for visitors, and maybe residents, too.
Whatever, I hope that everybody connected with the Short North has a happy and prosperous New Year!

All that Jazz
We were shocked recently when we discovered that the old Grandview Inn had been razed. In its place, a fast food joint of some sort. When they razed the Grandview Inn, they tore down a lot of history. The Dukes of Dixieland, Bill Maxstead and his band, Pee Wee Irwin, pianist Ralph Sutton, and the inimitable Marion McPartland were among the many musical greats who played there. Big Bear founder Wayne Brown was a devotee of the Inn, as was Bill Culter, the owner of the old Culter's Drug Store at the corner of West Fifth Avenue and Broadview.

Pet Peeves
Okay, here's my end of the year list of pet peeves. Delivery trucks that keep their motors running while they're parked. I know, I know, it's easier to start up again, but I say it's a huge waste of fuel. Loud, motor-mouth guys in bar settings can be a major irritant. Rudeness by motorists rankles right up near the head of the list with the offenses including tail-gating, speeding, crashing red lights, reckless lane changing, using cell phones while driving, and you name it. Deleting spam everyday is a pain in the ass, but I'm glad to say I'm not getting as many telemarketing calls now-a-days. Boom box cars that you can hear a mile away still jar my nerves

Crime Clinic II
Here are some more questions related to the crime scene. So put on your Sherlock Holmes hat and see if you can solves these questions that deal with the underside of life.
1. Who was known as "Scarface"? 2. Who assassinated Abraham Lincoln? 3. Who ate the body parts of some of his victims? 4. Who fired on people from a tower on the campus of a Texas college? 5. Who wrote In Cold Blood? 6. What two men were executed for a murder during a payroll robbery in Braintree, Massachusetts? 7. Who wrote the Executioner's Song and who was it about?

Dis 'n Data
Several months ago Bob Munley spotted a Great Blue Heron in the Goodale Park pond. One of the neatest shops in the Short North, Counter Culture located at 988 North High, is expanding into a couple of adjacent spaces. Noted wildlife photographer Eddy Farmer is recuperating from a couple of heart problems. Way to go, Eddy!

Quiz Answers

Okay, sleths, here are the answers
1. Al Capone 2. John Wilkes Booth 3. Jeffrey Dahmer 4. Charles Whitman 5. Truman Capote 6. Sacco and Vanzetti 7. Norman Mailer wrote this book about Gary Gilmore

Do good, be happy, stay out of jail, and I'll see you next month.